March not fun yet
picked up a cough, and keep not doing things
I’m still sick.
Yesterday I went for a walk with my friend Sara, something I’ve not done in a long time. And she said “So You are better now?”
And I said, “Well I better be. I want to be. It’s time to be.”
I’ve been so sick I just don’t know. Time to time I state: it’s over. It’s just sore throat, snot, some coughing. I thought it was ready to be over this time, for real.
But anyway I’m still sick, from when I got a sore throat after the AWP Conference took place in Baltimore
March has been a bust. It’s just so cold. It snows or it springs or it gets warm or it gets cold again. And I guess it’s officially Spring now but it feels cold and surreal. Spring can be such a hard birth. I thought I usually enjoyed March though.
Maybe I’m just numb to things. Maybe I’m depressed. It sure was fun thinking about how fun March would be back in late Winter. There is a supreme pleasure in imagining things to come. I guess that can get a little out of hand.
I am going to turn 60 next Tuesday. And I have no plans, not too much, like most birthdays. A little plan that I like. Anything more than a little plan feels too stressful.
I still do feel there’s a good switch that comes to being 60. Like maybe really I don’t believe in a lot of bullshit anymore. You go along in life, going up and down mountains. Achieving something then looking for the next peak. But I think now I’m just good with playing on the mountain, going up, going down, either side, looking around: just being here.
Something wonderful happened this month, that wasn’t in my plans. That I had no idea about. I had forgotten my laundry on the clotheline two nights ago, so I went out in the dark to get it. It was quite cold. The weather that day, had a stillness that made me think clamity must be coming later in the week. (and who knows maybe it is). the day had reminded me of being a character in a movie, the stillness before the storm. But that evening, running out in the dark to get a few clothes, thinking “it’s cold!” I looked up to see the most beautiful crescent moon shining over my house. And then, I realized, many bright dots: whole constellations and planets!
I looked in wonder. Ran in to take a photo of it. Looked up information about the night sky and found a great description of it online1*. So ran back out to look more. I saw a red dot I thought was Mars but Zay, on fb, said was Betelgeuse. The night sky was so clear. This is very unusual for me in Baltimore city. I often don’t see the moon. Just rowhouses in the way, this tiny maze I live in, obscuring the sky. And so much light pollution besides regular pollution. As I ran out, every time, my neighbors from two houses over flood lights would pop on. Motion detectors that would turn off when I went into my house. Then flood me with light again. This I hated. But I could still see the sky.
And I can’t hate them as they are the only neighbors lately to seem to live out loud: entertaining a friend and sitting in their backyard on the sunny day I hung laundry. Or digging out the space in front of my house in the big ice-snow eventually.
I’m getting off track. The stars were really beautiful.
like REALLY beautiful.
Nature can be a wonder.
So much of human society these days seems reactive. Its draining.
Bad Bunny Super Bowl Performance = creative. Creativity can react to the times without being reactive.
One Battle After Another—The movie I watched last night, and was surprised that I did like it, after hearing critiques that made me think I would not; I know not everyone agrees—felt creative to me. Humorous, a movie, a wild ride, took my mind off things, which is what I needed. But I liked seeing armed resistance. It was perhaps a little lesson: stop snitching! And the truly organized people were Benicia del Toro’s people. That was good to see. It reminded me of a church in Chicago I once visited.
When Ariel was in town for the AWP she said something I found very informative. She said it over a table eating. I felt like most of the interesting things I head at the AWP happened over a table while going out to eat. She told me the way she crafted her substack essays. Let it wander - but go back and see what correlates. It was just like how Zak taught us with quilts. Look for correlations. Then emphasize this. Creating that little go back and connect it, gives much pleasure. It’s been on my mind. I’ve been wanting to work on craft more. Create pleasure.
P.S. I wrote this this morning. Then I felt a little bit better after getting it off my chest. I guess I’ll push send. I have so many draft essays. I have one called “Spring is Coming” and another entitled “March Events” I never published. Maybe you have to just break out and start publishing things again not just let them settle into your unseen drafts.
Tonight in the Baltimore sky (March 23, 2026), look for brilliant Jupiter high in the sky and the constellation Orion dominating the southern view. The bright star Sirius is also clearly visible. Weather looks promising with mostly clear conditions expected, allowing for good viewing.
Astronomy Highlights Tonight:
Planets: Jupiter is a brilliant, unmissable beacon high in the sky. Mars may be visible as a red point.
Constellations: Orion the Hunter is prominent, with its belt and the faint Orion Nebula below it.
Stars: Sirius, the brightest star in the night sky, is located halfway up the southern sky.
Constellations: Look for the Pleiades star cluster (Seven Sisters) near Taurus, and the backward question mark shape of Leo the Lion rising in the east.